24-Hour Shopping in Rapture

*Back to back. Sacroiliac. Spineless movement and a wild attack. Face to face, sadly solitude. And it's finger popping. Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture*

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Happy Ever After

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and wentshopping, dancing, lunching, drank martinis, always had a clean house,never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whateverthe hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, hadmany boyfriends, saved more money, and had all the hot water toherself. She watched chick flicks, never wore lacy lingerie that wentup her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt andlooked fabulous in sweat pants, and farted whenever she wanted.

THE END


Well not my cup of tea, really. I want to get married and have lots of kids that are crazy like me!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

My Latest Addiction

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the newest sport to hit 2006:





MOSQUITO-ZAPEROO BADMINTON

7 FAQs:

1) Why is it called Mosquito-Zaperoo Badminton?

Because the racquet looks like a badminton racquet, you zap mosquitoes with it and 'Zaperoo' sounds damn cute.

2) Why should I play Mosquito-Zaperoo Badminton?

It burns a few calories (as good as playing 2 holes of golf), it's chic (or at least I tried to make it look chic), it's addictive, it's fun and it gets rid of all those annoying mosquitoes.

3) Where is the best place to play?

Any third world country. (I tried my room here in Singapore and I found zero mosquitoes. I started killing ants instead but it's not as thrilling at all)

4) Where can I get one of those racquets?

Any third world country's supermarket. Unfortunately, they don't have it here in Singapore. I got mine in Jakarta.

5) Is it safe to play Mosquito-Zaperoo Badminton around food?

Well, if you like vapourised-mosquito-dust to be all over your food, go right ahead.

6) How did this game come about?

It started when I was travelling in western Java and my friends Putri and Ades took me to this island called Pulau Umang where they owned a private bungalow with the most gorgeous view and untouched beach (Ok, I digress) and they had these racquets there and the only thing that spoilt the island's serenity were these annoying mosquitoes, so then I made a point to kill every last bit of it before we sleep and that's what I did with the help of Putri and I never went anywhere on the island without the racquets and ever since then I'm addicted. The mosquitoes in Indonesia really give you a good workout. They're pretty challenging. Call me sadistic, whatever, but I just love the sound of the mosquitoes zapping. More satisfying than hearing that favourite car that you can never afford zoom pass.

7) What would be the perfect, ideal song to listen to while Mosquito-Zaperooing?

I recommend "Through The Fire" by Chaka Kahn:

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For just to be with you, I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way...
Right down to the wire (get it? get it?), even through the fire.

Say goodbye to those pesty mosquitoes today!

If you wish to order the these racquets, I got a good deal. SGD$10 a piece. It's a very thoughtful cool and funky gift for your cool and funky friend. Trust me. Email me now to order your very own.

The Jakarta Weekend

We came back from Jakarta. We left on friday night after work and came back on Sunday night. It was awesome. Got to meet my wonderful friends namely Putri, Ades, Ilaiza and baby Mikael, Fardan and Mila. Sensational! We had a blast catching up, food fest, and lots of drama (or dramage (drama + damage) as I call it) that puts 'The OC" to shame!

I kinda love Jakarta. Well, not really. In fact, I can't imagine living in Jakarta. Bali - YES! Jakarta - HELL NO! The only thing that makes Jakarta worth going are my friends. PERIOD. I would not go to Jakarta to save my life if I had to. The traffic is horrendous, it's like HAZE 24/7 due to the pollution, the soundtrack of Jakarta is the traffic (honking and whistles from the parking attendants), so little trees planted on such a huge city, therefore it's scorching hot during the day and many many many many more reasons. But I love my friends hence, I'd take that little trip Jakarta any day just as long as we stay indoors and travel only to nearby places.

Dannie still has the pictures so I can't upload any for now. BUT... I do have some random photos in my phone which I've been meaning to post.

So I drove up to Upper Pierce Reservoir one boring lunch to just check it out and saw this random sign about us not being able to feed the poor monkeys:





Upper Pierce Reservoir is gorgeous! And it's just 2 minutes from the shithole where I work.



This idiot had spent a dollar on each parking coupons and still got a fine! In Singapore, we tear our coupons with date and time on them for parking. Each coloured coupons has it's own duration of time (purple = 30 mins, orange = 1 hours, blue = 2 hours etc.) This dude placed hours worth of coupons and still got a nasty fine of $30 for insufficient coupons. It's just the silliest sight:



Last but not least, I was driving back to work from lunch one day and saw this across the junction:

See? Even cop cars can get towed in Singapore.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I was an NKOTB Fan

What was I thinking? No. What were WE thinking, girls?


NKOTB = New Kids On The Block

I'm guilty. Once upon a weird time, I was crazy over these guys. Heck, every girl from my generation (The MTV Generation: b. 1975-1984) were madly in love with these guys.

All grown up now, I find them so tacky. Their moves are gasping and Jordon Knight (who happened to have the same birthday as me - Uhuh... all the girls in school who were crazy over him, were jealous of me. Uhuh...) looked sooooooo..... gay!!! I mean, back then it was HOT. Now, if anyone were to sing and dance like him, they'd instantly be labelled 'gay'.

Not that I have ANYTHING against gay people at all no. Or that there's anything wrong with loving gay people no. No. I'm in denial. Yes I am.


But seriously, Joey McIntyre and me, we go way back, I swear.

I was an NKOTB fan. (number one fan for that matter) There I said it.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Blender Experiment

Will Golf Balls Blend?

Will it blend? That is the question!
And now... Goldfish in a blender!!!!!

Cute annoying music though. 5 for the song, 1 for the video.
And finally, a REAL goldfish in a blender!!!

Whatever happened to the goldfish is still a mystery. But I would love to press blend for one second and see goldfish spin :( I think the water will turn to a very pretty colour.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

milli vanilli


Lip synching macho idiots. Hilarious. They sang with such convinction and had all of us fooled indeed!

How hilarious is this video? But somehow, it's cute in some ways. The dance moves were outrageous. I can't seem to get enough of it though. Somekinda weird obsession.

I miss the 80s. Really.

trippy


This is some cool shit. Best viewed on full screen. Enjoy.

Friday, November 03, 2006

ilyana in a flash

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Haze Report Part 2

So I thought the past week was bad. Yesterday was like a sneak preview of "Singapore - Nearing Armageddon - what happens if we do not take care of our planet".

Our lovely skyline was gone. It was only 5pm and I could not stop snapping photos as I was driving. I even took one of myself.


Can you really blame me for getting worried that our bright blue skies and nice clean air would never return again?
The trees are dying because the sun has been blocked by thick dust.
1pm looks like 7pm.
Muslim have to fast in such horrendous weather.
Everybody craves for some refreshing drink. Asthma attacks everywhere. Smokers are quitting smoking. Everybody's getting sick.
Singapore will soon be declared an unhealthy state.
THEN WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

>ENTER CHAOS<